Saturday, 30 November 2013

Never Blow a Job


If you don’t want to blow a job then insert your finger into your brain and point out what you have got inside your grey matter that others do not have. Generally it is seen that men who have very long experience and women who have very deep insight make out to the top of the table. Whether you get it the hard way or the wet way, shedding tears all over, if you love a job - grab it.

You should properly determine what kind of job you like - a hand, mouth, tongue or brain job. Your slippery tongue can be very useful in getting job done if you are in sales profile. But if you want a desk job then it is advisable to gulp down the sticky words into your deep throat. During a desk job, when you are having pleasure working on something creative don’t talk much. Else your words may get conjugated with office politics and all the moans and screams will go in vain and you will be left with only a blown job.

When you have a hard on instinctive feel about a certain sphere, grab it. Otherwise you will wet down your handkerchief with tears getting a wrong job and no satisfaction at all. Satisfaction after each job is a necessity. When you feel you are not getting satisfaction of a job - go deeper. Search for the G spot, the Great Spot, where you can fit with ease and pleasure.

Sometimes changing the position also helps a lot. In terms of HR it is said ‘Job Enrichment’. Many HRs do the mistake of ‘Enlargement’ instead of ‘Enrichment’. Enlargement simply creates a performance pressure as the employee may have to hump a lot more than what he or she is capable of while the load may never get discharged.

Certainly in this paced world playing with yourself and your career can end you up in frustration. You always have to spread your legs and hands, reach out for the farthest opportunity. Grab every ball you see out there, whether it is in your court or your competitor’s. In this cut throat era of competition you might get short of someone to ride over with one another during rough times. Forget the long jobs, you might not even find someone to do even a small job such as a doggie bath.

But never give up. Use your hands, your mouth or even your legs, dig deep and get a job which you dream of every time night falls and sun rises and get satisfied. But never give up.

Disclaimer: The views given in the passage are personal and the author is not a HR guy. Neither is he a counselor.  He is a copywriter with weak English (not a hard one) and so the dissatisfied HR blew job him.                 

Thursday, 6 June 2013

The eternity of love.



The temperature is fine, just around 20 degrees. I am witnessing the most amazing love story consummating into marriage, a very handsome man marrying a very beautiful woman. I could have well used the superlative degree with both the adjectives in describing them. Their love life had seen many ups and downs but their love persisted, love is eternal as we know. Another very beautiful lady is sitting beside me, full with joy and anxiety for the couple. The two of us have known of each other’s existence since the beginning of the love story that I have talked about. I wonder whether our relation will also culminate in such a way!!

But how much can a man do to woo a lady in two hours?? The odds are even less when 85% of her concentration is on the screen, 10% on her accomplices and only 5% on the boy sitting next to her, ogling her time to time. If her accomplice is a guy with good looks and attitude then the stats change dramatically. Any ray of hope that the touching “eternal love” theme of the film, of which we have been a joint (read couple) witness, would have aroused would be instantly doused.

Anyways, the film has ended, as always on a happy note. Both of us leave the hall. As soon as we get out of the building, reality strikes me. She goes to the parking lot with her family. I have to wait for an auto. It is a June Sunday noon, temperature around 45 degrees. No auto in sight. About 10 minutes after she passed by me in her Honda Accord. This time she has got 100% concentration on her mobile. No auto yet. Few buses ply on that route. Think will have to make a break journey on bus.

By the way, how many of us have witnessed eternal love? Perhaps none, or none to my knowledge. We all feel that love is eternal only while we are in a relationship and only for that relationship. Once out of a relationship, we move on, get a new person and again fall in a love bond that, perhaps, is second or third time eternal. So what is eternity in love if we can forget so easily and move on? Why do we keep buying these bluffs from the filmmakers? They have completely romanticized the idea of love, saying true love can happen with only one person and it will linger on for a life time, and this idea is impossible in today’s world.  Yet we are just too happy buying all these stuffs from the movie makers.

  


In the earlier days, marriages used to happen very early in life and divorce would have been as impossible as the word itself in Hitler’s dictionary. And of course one intelligent person should have loved the person with whom he had to spend the whole life. Even now the people who are married will vehemently oppose my idea that love is not eternal but ephemeral because they are bound to love a person for their whole life. But before the marriage who knows how many eternal loves they have witnessed. If Indian society had been so open to divorce as the western society, then there would have been little cry on ‘eternity’ of love. Perhaps that is why Hollywood makes such successful movies on a variety of topics, while as in India most successful movies hover around the idea of love or even if it is not centered on the theme of love there must be an element in it.

On the other hand, there is one more hypocritical ideology in the country – love is not based on physical attribute, but on the beauty of heart. My dear friends, if all you see is beauty of heart and no physical discrimination then what is the problem in a man loving a man with a beautiful heart or a woman loving a woman with a beautiful heart? What perturbs you with such a relationship? Or maybe you should say that love seeks a beautiful heart but only in opposite sex.
                      




Now you may believe that I am raising a voice for the people who do not have straight sexual orientation for I myself would be a gay. There can be nothing further from reality. I was in a relationship with, seemingly, the most beautiful girl in the world. She moved on, never imagined so, and I am alive while as I could not have imagined my life without her.

All of you and the film industry should stop the farce romanticizing love. It’s a feeling just like any other. It starts with attraction, there is desire for physical proximity and is not eternal, unless you are bound. It happens once, it can also happen twice, thrice or as many times as you can count. We keep looking for a person whom we can confide with all our secrets, share our joy and griefs, get intimate, enjoy life and forget our ex. As soon as we get that person we fall into another episode of eternal love.    
        

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

I am not a machine

Hello all. This is my first blog. So I may fairly assume that I may be granted a few mistakes. Moreover, I am not a machine that is perfect and makes no mistake ( of course when perfectly tuned). Even machines make mistake at times. Perfection is God and you will easily believe me if I say that I am not God.
My friends say that I am a confused guy. Earlier I used to doubt it, but of late I have begun to believe that I am a confused person. It might seem strange but I have started to like being confused. It makes me unpredictable. Now the only thing that is constant about me is being inconsistent. Even as I write this blog I do not have any idea as to what I have to write next because I have not planned it. Planning is not something you can relate with my name. What if I plan it today and I am dead tomorrow. For me the best way to live is take life head on.
I would have continued my way without giving it a second thought but the problem is that I have got a girl whom I love very much and I will have to change myself if I have to marry her. Now she is the sweetest girl on this planet ( you may have your reasons to attack me now, but, beauty lies in the eyes of beholder) while as her parents are not so sweet. For them love is not the only thing required for a decent life, not even to get married. For getting married I have to be perfect. I have to be handsome (which fortunately I am), well mannered, rich and whatever you can imagine. Now I am a kind of guy who hates money as money is the bone of contention in every dispute. However for the better future of ours, I have decided to earn( mind you, not more than what we need for a peaceful life). But the second problem still remains- how can I be perfect?
 All the problems get started from here. I don't want to be perfect. To err is human. Of course I am ready to give up the bad habits but perfection is too much to ask from a person. It will make me a machine, devoid of all the feelings. Only if I have some imperfections then can I awe at the marvel of others, then can I laugh at the follies of others, then can I desire to learn. Without these imperfections life would become so dull. If I am a machine I will lose my spontaneity and work according to the information that has already been fed to me. How will I wonder?
For all the great inventions and discoveries there had to be imperfections which led people to think and act. In this sense there can only be two possibilities- either the planet was perfect from the time of Adam and Eve or there will be imperfections till the last man breaths on this planet. Since we all know that the former is not the case, the latter has got to be true. In the same way either I had to be born a machine or I will happily enjoy one folly or the other till I am dead.